For fucks sake, how pathetic is that?

**Total Randomness** My best friend for over a decade now just texted (or text'd or textd or wtf it is) and totally made me laugh. She must have the ESP.

But seriously, sometimes I just feel so alone. I've come to learn that most of my friends had no interest in who I was but just the way I lived my life before my son. And I KNOW that's what it is, some of my friends said it was hard to come see me because I live in winchester (which is like 20 or minutes away from most of my friends) but when I was having parties every saturday night they were here at least 90% of the time and randomly through the week too. AND most of them had jobs that took of more of their time and were in school when they no longer are. But yeah, it's me living far away.

Lol, I was looking for the eye rolling face but that summed up how I feel better.

Anyhow back to my original rant.. I have been dealing with a lot of stress lately. I have had this INSANE drama with the stupid pyschotic bitch lady on ebay and have been out a decent chunk of money for like 2 weeks because of it so I've been having to juggle all the bills differently and try to make odds and ends go here and there and it's been just ugh. Not to mention that ebay gave her my phone number and she called me. I've also been trying to plan a birthday party and preparing for my mom's visit and having major anxiety over my son turning 1. AND I'm trying to get money arranged for our vacation which is now less than 2 months away. Top that off with I'm always home with a baby, no money to do anything with and no friends to hang out with or even talk too. I literally feel like my head may implode.

I do have a couple of awesome friends but one of them lives 30 minutes away and works all the time, the other one lives an hour away and works and has her own husband and child to find time for and the one who text'd me earlier lives in seattle. She is however coming to see me for my birthday in June, whoo hoo! All my family lives in MS (500 or more miles away) and I don't really fit in with my husands family.

Anyhow, I'm over feeling sorry for myself for now lol. I've got a wonderful home, husband and child and over all my life is a lot better then a lot of peoples. I think I just need a hobby or something. I'm really excited about my blackberry coming in, hopefully that'll happen soon. Another random fact about me, I thoroughly enjoy the hillshire farm meat commercials lol.

Damn thats a long blog (at least for me), but I feel a lot better now that I've vented a bit. I'm really bad about not showing emotion and holding things in and sometimes I forget how good it can be to say things out loud or to type them out loud lol.

PS
This is my new favorite picture of my son, isn't he adorable? That's a rehtorical question beccause obviously he is. =)

About the apologies,
Yeah, my mom is the opposite. -.- Probably a part of why the whole thing bothers me so much.

As for the paying for dinner...I've met a few girls like that. It's different.
» middaymoon on 2010-04-20 10:34:09

Your son is *SOO* adorable. Yes. And don't worry, you always have your friends on NUTANG to hang out with!! :D
» Zanzibar on 2010-04-20 10:54:07

Wow, he's nearly 1?!
He's so big, now! And so cute, of course X)
» invisible on 2010-04-20 10:54:50

I know how you feel...to some extent at least. First of all, I'm no parent and I'm sure that fuzzes things up quite a bit, but I'm not digging the whole "lonely" thing right now either. All of my close friends live somewhere...one 30 minutes away, another 2 states away, some halfway across the country...I mean skype and all of that are great tools, but it doesn't really substitute having somebody actually be there, ya know? But here on Nutang we do our best to still be there and help each other out :) Keep your head up and hopefully things will work themselves out in the end

Oh and as for a hobby...I'm SUPER biased but I have to suggest jumping rope :P I'm not sure if you've seen any of videos but it's so so so so fun. And good for you too! If you want some tricks to work on just let me know :D
» The-Muffin-Man on 2010-04-20 11:54:18

I think they're worried because she hasn't had any signs of contractions yet and she's so far along. I'm going to take her out this weekend or tomorrow to make her walk around and buy her tons of spicy foods and stuff. She's really worried about the risk of having to get the C-section.
» SporadicFunk on 2010-04-21 10:03:42

Two can be as bad as one / It's the loneliest number since the number one
Hanging out with friends is a different experience than long distance communications. I live closer to my grandparents than any of my other family (my parents live in MO), and, while I enjoy basking in the tales of their glorious histories, it would be nice to have a change of pace. My friends all live at least a half hour away, depending on traffic, and either spend most of their time at school, work, or taking care of their families.

It is tough to feel so isolated. Connecting with people on-line through blogging helps. I also have a couple of hobbies: reading, my car, collecting stuff. I would think your son (yea, yea, yea, :) he's too cute for words) takes up much of your time, but hopefully you'll find something to occupy you outside of NuTang.
» fakebil on 2010-04-21 01:17:27

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