Crazy like a bedbug!

Today's letter is A.

I could take the easy route and do Assholes.

Who likes assholes, other than silly people who feel the need to be in that sort of relationship?

They're jerks, really.
People who don't use their turn signals, those people who don't respect your personal space, people who are loud... I don't know.

I'm ok with Ants and Aardvarks and Antihistamines and antidisestablishmentarianism(because, yup, I'm an asshole), I'm not sure what else I hate.

Maybe appetites. I just ate half a bag of kettle corn and a cookie. And a banana. Oof.

ADVERTISEMENTS! Man, they piss me off. Always loud, trying to sell you something.
I did see this one during the puppy bowl, I thought it was cute. But I already want a Subaru.

I realized what prompted this series of posts: Automatic Toilets.

Oh, how I HATE automatic toilets. And faucets. Paper towel dispensers and hand dryers are ok. Unless it's that damn Dyson Airblade dryer, that think is useless.

Anyway. What prompted this series is the auto-toilets next to my office. Anywhere you go and there is an auto-toilet, if you forget to block the sensor, IT WILL FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE USING IT. Always! I need to remember to take my post-it back.

Auto-sinks: You have to dance naked on your pinkie toe under the third full moon of the fourth month of the seventh year to get these assholes to work. And when they do work, the water is always very cold. Always. And god forbid you breathe, bam, you're not getting any more water.

Auto-driers: I like the vortex ones. I can use them to make fart noises with my hands. The airblades are useless, they work until I get to my palms, and then I have soaking wet fingers. What's the use?

Personally I don't mind ads too much, since they pay for my "free" content. They can be overly intrusive though.
» randomjunk on 2014-02-05 12:51:19

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