Chlamydia is not a flower
Safe Sex Options
These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe":
- Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.
- Think about parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.
- Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."
- Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.
- Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.
- When taking four cocks in the ass, make sure to have an equal amount of cock in your mouth to reduce the risk of CHI imbalance.
- Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"
- Douse penis liberally with D-Con roach spray before penetrating ape.
- You CAN get it from kissing -- tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.
- To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.
- If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand to hope for the best.
22:31Categories: jokes [t], condoms [t]
Recommended by 12 Members
ohhh BAD jokes, in a good way. lead based condoms, lmfao
» middaymoon on 2006-10-12 10:51:25
Thanks for the service announcement. I am sure many will benefit from it. I however have always practiced safe sex in that manner. So I’m fine.
» CONDESCENDme on 2006-10-13 01:28:44
Chlamydia brews great tea.
» Jazagoya on 2006-10-13 01:59:40
Whoops, recommended myself... that's lame.
» bluetopaz on 2006-10-15 10:05:04
Thank you, I'll have to keep those things in mind. :)
» little-b on 2006-10-18 12:19:49
Thats hilarious. Well worth the PPS I donated.
» Dilated on 2006-10-19 02:57:52
lmao, that made my night. Honestly.
» Helena on 2006-10-20 12:44:36
Thanks for the advice. I will invest in some lead-based condoms.
» dave on 2006-10-20 01:37:56
thanks! i play middle. its hard! but i like it.
» dis1girl on 2006-10-22 10:25:25
Unless you have AIDS already, then the heck with it, become like a vampire lurking for victims at night
» hmdaswani on 2006-10-24 07:38:01
In genius Such intelligent writing!
» kkama67 on 2006-11-09 11:30:34
OMG that 4 dicks in ass one is a lil creepy but otherwise LOL
» peachy7646 on 2006-11-13 03:28:55
LOL i thought u were serious for a second.. but then the jokes, :) lol
» marymary on 2006-11-14 04:02:30
Eww gross. » changbang on 2006-11-17 12:02:24
haha thanks for the laugh, ill remember that in the future
» brittybratty8907 on 2006-11-18 08:43:06
haahah funny but abit too much with 4 dicks in ass... lol
» jolenesiah on 2006-11-22 09:05:43
What necessary words... super, a brilliant idea In my opinion, it is a lie.
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