It's really quite a beautiful word, I think. Exaltation. Fitting.




"All right, fine, Unicornasaurus*, who's YOUR best friend?"

"[My best friend's name]."

"Who?"

--I answered again, which clarified nothing. He seemed to accept it, ignoring his curiosity for the sake of more important answers.

"...Why's she your best friend?"

I was quiet for a second here. I'm one of those people who doesn't apologize for silence during a conversation, because typically it's necessary to say anything meaningful or memorable at all. My first attack would be to cite time, which means nothing. I've known at least thirty people "for years," and yet I only have two best friends. After a good fifteen seconds, I drew some semblance of a legitimate answer.

"I think...a best friend is someone you can't imagine your life without. Guys and girls come and go, and even during the relationship, I can see after that person, I can see myself without that person. But a best friend is someone you literally can't imagine living without, like you end when they end. --I don't know. She's going to be my maid of honour."

It was their turn to be silent--"them" being the two men I was placed on the swimming pool steps with. I don't think they were thinking carefully about their next words, but rather recounting all the people in their lives that they considered best friends, and how meaningless my new definition proclaimed those connections. I felt somewhat guilty, even, when the one I didn't know as well said, "Then I don't have a best friend," in this funny, far-off way.

I felt like an authority on the matter--that I was the parent telling her children that Santa didn't exist. Except, I'm not an authority on the matter. I'm just not.

I don't have a point. It's just been sticking out in my mind, lately. One other thing is on my mind, too, and it's just as abstract:

I had a dream about being pregnant. My dream self seemed to consider my waking self and obliged her by spelling the little girl's name out for me. I'm glad. It's beautiful, and if I ever have a little girl, I'm naming her exactly that, odd spelling and all.


I'm late responding to my e-mails because I'm always here, trying to write something I can feel good about putting out into the interwebs. It's why I like snail mail--so much easier to concentrate on. So much quicker to respond to, even with the same thoughtfulness. Snail mail needs to come back.


* people outside of NuTang don't actually call me this.

That's a shame that people outside of Nutang don't actually call you that! ;) That's cool that you have such a good friend like that. I feel like I have several "best friends", but they all fit into different contexts. I keep adding bridesmaids to my list... I'm going to have to get married soon before I make any more really good friends ;P.

I totally get your vibe about Pier One Imports. I used to go there when I was a kid and I felt like I was being transported to some magical world where anything was possible. It's kind of funny to think that a store can make you feel that way, especially a chain store like Pier One or Lowe's. But maybe that's a reason why they're so successful... maybe people don't realize it but they all have this common resonance with the atmosphere and content of the store that opens their minds to the millions of creative possibilities out there in the world.
» Zanzibar on 2011-06-09 01:13:50

You should send this to her.
» middaymoon on 2011-06-09 03:49:20

I agree with zanzi.

it's a shame no one outside of nutang calls you that.


also, i dont think i can be your maid of honor, pal.. i cant be a maid.

i think i have a best friend.. we're so different though.
» undisputed on 2011-06-09 07:44:49

Hm, don't think I have a best friend either, by your definition.
» randomjunk on 2011-06-10 03:08:56

I have friends I find difficult to imagine being without, though I've always supposed I would "live".

You are one provoker of thoughts.
» invisible on 2011-06-10 02:42:55

True. I also don't just throw out the word "best friend" as easily as some people do. I'm glad to have one though :)

& I think your dream is amazing. I wish I would have something like that, and yes, remember it in the morning :D
» frostbitten on 2011-06-11 11:36:36

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