If you'll be my star, I'll be your sky
You can hide underneath me and come out at night
When I turn jet black and you show off your light
I'll live to let you shine.


Puerto Rico was nice. I’ve been meaning to write about my adventures with Antonia(toni.nutang.com) ever since I came back but I’ve been a little preoccupied with school and living this life God gave me to mold. I’ve got enough things on my mind to write four one thousand word entries, but I’ll spare you, the three people who read this(HI MOM!) the trouble of going through all of those words. Anyway, Puerto Rico… I could talk a lot about how beautiful some of the towns were.. How much of a culture change it was from Texas to PR, what with everyone speaking Spanish as opposed to Engrish, ( Yeah, I said engRish.), or the polarization of wealth between the very rich and the very poor… but I won’t. Those things are all noteworthy but the aspect of my trip that left the biggest impression on me was Antonia, my host. My brotha from ANOTHA MOTHA, one of the, if not the, biggest influence on my life outside of my family since my days were spent on the playground, playing the role of Power Rangers and digimon trainers( You know you loved one of those shows.). I spent three nights there, four days with her and they were all amazing. We spent the majority of our time just chilling in her living room, playing on her old N64. “Its nice to be living in 1997, Antonia,” I teased her when I first saw the thing. She just rolled her eyes and shot back with some sarcastic comment of her own… probably a hair joke.
We spent a lot of time talking. Living. Loving the company of each other… It was nice to be able to be with someone and not have to bring in some third party entertainment contraption out of shee rboredom. Although, she did take me to a bar once… and wouldn’t let me watch Law and Order. She also took me to the university, some b each type deal, a tourist area, and on a lot of other places. I got to ride on a train, too!
Check out the gallery for pictures. There are a lot of ‘em there with me and her and Puerto Rico.


I’m home now… and I miss her. I’ve got good people here in San Antonio, people I’d give the shirt off my back to… but no one who I can point to and say, “Nine, ten years from now, I’ll still love you like I do now, if not more.” I used to think that I had two people in my life who I could say that to… but as I alluded to in a previous entry, I’m pushing ‘er away. Defense mechanism. I’m trying not to… but yeah. Anyway, this entry is dedicated to My Antonia, who I have and always will love from behind these brown eyes of mine to the depths of my soul.

About The Music Player..It's Kind Of Tedious Gettin It..It's Called Wimpy Mp3 Player..You Have To Host The Player And The Mp3s Yourself..Hit Me Back If You Want More Info..
» Factz on 2007-03-28 12:55:24

Re:comment
LOL, yeah, I'm sure that was it.
» ranor on 2007-03-28 01:00:26

What a beautiful way to spend your vacation. *sighs...I'm so jealous. :) Btw, which Power Ranger were you? I always wanted to be the Green Ranger...so bad, and yet good. ^_~
» little-b on 2007-03-28 01:28:29

Dear Dilated, I thought you were diluted while you were in PR, so you weren't able to get anything up since you came back!
Nice to know that you really did have a nice time there. If you have a great friend to hang out with, it beats the tourist spots everytime.
Re-comment: Ah.. I hope he won't try Manglish(Malaysian English) with you.. with all the chinese slang.. LOL! I think he's just curious, probably his first time out of the country and there was no one to tell him why this and why that.. let's just hope that he doesn't ask the wrong things.. Have patience.. though I doubt his questions will ever stop.. Good luck! I promise to be back on Saturday..
» Nuttz on 2007-03-28 01:33:27

Thanks for the comment ^__^
I can't wait for the 3rd either!
At first I thought it was just a joke...but then I watched one of those tabloid shows and I saw Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker back together again...pretty amazing.
» Mockiller on 2007-03-28 01:34:16

Yeah, Alabama IS in the bible belt. However, Auburn University is extremely diverse. From what I heard, the majority of students were disgusted. Even if they are strictly pro-life, they didn't think those signs were the right way to get the message across.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-03-28 04:27:43

Dude. There's that generational gap between old, mature people like me and little youngin's like yourself. That is, by the time power rangers came on I was in 6th grade and like sooo over it. Back in my day we watched TMNT and I was always Donatello. And then there was Darkwing Duck. But I have to admit that I spent most of my elementary school existence pretending that I was a cheetah.

My Antonia. Did you read that book? Remember the part where the Russian guys were telling the story of why they moved to the prairie and it had to do with a wedding part on a bunch of sleds and a pack of wolves? REMEMBER?
» Zanzibar on 2007-03-28 04:35:56

Re: comment, I'm afraid it means just that! Or at least, I won't be killing time Mon-Wed... Kinda sucks but still!!

Sounds like you had a great time :-)
» LittleBrit on 2007-03-28 04:36:59

Hi :)
Yeah, I got back to nutang a little under a week ago :D I started missing it, and realized that myspace is still no good. Anyway, how have things been going since I've been gone?
» Morpheus on 2007-03-28 04:40:56

I'm glad you had fun in PR. Haha, I have an N64 at my mom's house. I dunno what they did with it; I think it might be either in a box in the garage or still in the livingroom. Either way, I didn't know anyone else even still had one.
I like the first part of your entry. Its really sweet.
» LostSoul13 on 2007-03-28 11:03:29

dood, you don't even know the meaning of the word "thesis". Or maybe you do, but you don't even know what's it's like, man. I can't even talk about it. Part of my PTSS. Or maybe Post-traumatic thesis syndrome, PTTS.
» Zanzibar on 2007-03-28 11:25:50

aw, thanks. haha windows 95? yeah, that's old school.
» Cher_lyn on 2007-03-29 12:25:19

aw, you flatter me. i'm glad you think i'm not stupid. :)

puerto rico?! lucky. sounds like a nice place to vacation to.
» dis1girl on 2007-03-29 01:23:54

Lol. Thanks for the suggestion. But I've never tasted paper and I don't intend to taste it now. Puerto Rice sounded fun for you. And it's cool how you're close with your brother's mom. That sucks that she's so far away, though. But that's why technology is great.
» thisdisease on 2007-03-29 02:09:31

re: comment, what happened is that I just have a crush on someone who would most likely read that entry and I don't want them to know yet or find it weird. That's all.
» blackfire on 2007-03-29 04:50:04

YEAH THE NUTTY PROFESSOR!! I WAS YOUNGET THEN, andplus i felt bad for him because he was fat. and he was going retarded.
» changbang on 2007-03-30 02:55:47

i loved digimon with a passion.
from third grade until fifth grade. i didnt really go for the powerrangers much, though.

anyhow, the class was music jam, which i have once a week for fifty minutes on fridays. basically, we sit there and listen to the radio, which plays crap and static. i dont know anyone in that class, so i meant to bring my drivers ed book today, but i woke up really late and forgot it.

and on my dads advice, i dont know. personally, i dont think it would help, because its not like i keep my emotions bottled up. i tell everyone who will listen anything theyll listen to, except for my parents. i dont think my dad understands the whole 'im hot, im tired, i stood outside alone in front of the school waiting for you thirty minutes longer than i usually do' thing. thats why i was 'sullen and harsh' yesterday, and thats why he said that.

wow, this comments a monster.
» bananaface on 2007-03-30 07:14:38

fine, just be like that. You can be on the cake with your own wife if you gonna be like that.
» Zanzibar on 2007-03-31 12:17:07

haha
You make a mean comment to her like you do to me on the shoutbox. She should have done more than make a comment...shoulda kicked you in the junk haha Although i'd only every played anything on N64 maybe 6 times ever. But it's cool that you had a great time and I'll check out the pictures as I am always into learning about places where I've never been.
» etheracide on 2007-04-01 08:25:10

wow, thats real..deep. and yes, i do have to admit i have a little part inside of me that used to like power rangers.
» Brutaly on 2007-04-01 08:37:12

heyhey
Glad you had a good time over in PR. Sounds like you had a blast. And seriously, you should treasure that friendship. Not many people have someone in their lives that they feel like that about.
p.s. I'll be in San Antonio tomorrow (monday) but for my dad's surgery so I won't be able to hang out at all. I'll probably go visit him sooner or later though, and if that goes down...we should hang. Yep. *nod*
» Helena on 2007-04-01 03:06:20

Hmm....

NO.
» randomjunk on 2007-04-01 09:44:16

I start school tomorrow because it's the beginning of the Spring quarter over at UCSD. Before that, I went on educational hiatus for about 3 months or so.

Puerto Rico sounded great the way you summarized it, or actually, punctuated it so that the focus was on Antonia. Why were you in Puerto Rico to begin with anyway?

And the song choice was the last thing I implemented into the layout. It was actually playing on the radio so I decided to put it in. I think I'll find the html for playing multiple songs on each refresh so it doesn't get too monotonous.

» bifocalLs on 2007-04-01 10:47:07

Funerals are hard. It was open casket but I couldn't bring myself to look.

I'm not ready for that kind of closure.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-04-03 02:16:37

I think so. To me, looking at his dead body would have made that image the last one I'd have of seeing him.

I've accepted that he's gone, and I won't see him again. I don't need to look at his corpse to move forward.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-04-03 02:56:36

I don't think there will ever be a point where I'll forget.

I don't think it works that way. I don't know though. Grief affects everyone differently I guess.

» Chloefoxx on 2007-04-03 03:12:38

I get it buddy!

Very nice.
» Chloefoxx on 2007-04-03 03:15:55


i was laughing when i saw bellick all beat up in that prison. he deserved it. what else?
geez i cant wait to see what scofield does, if he tries to escape or not.
and i was laughing at tbag when he got stuck in jail. i cant wait to see what happens to him! i love prison break!

and onto i love new york...

i liked chance a lot better than i liked tango but i just feel like tango was a better match for new york because chance is way too crazy and 2 crazy people together is not gonna work. i know that flav made new york look really dumb twice so i kinda wanted her to choose the best person for herself.
but tango is a complete idiot for that proposal! i would never, ever, ever propose to new york. that girl is crazy.
» helloiloveyou on 2007-04-03 07:16:22

You can stand under my umbrella, my umbrellllllla, you can stand under my umbrelllla
» Zanzibar on 2007-04-03 10:04:27

I always wanted to be the pink ranger.
But I really like it when you don't need some third-party entertainment contraption. That's nice. My Spring Break was kind of similar. Really nice location but it was the company that made it great.

Anyhow. I push people away and I don't like it either. Maybe it's a Capricorn thing? I'm glad you're trying not to though. That gives me hope. I hereby resolve to try not to push people away. The trouble is, the one person I really want not to push away is just like me, and kinda like you. He's kind of quiet and doesn't let people in easily. Ctch. Pfsh. Ctch.
» sarah on 2007-04-03 10:32:44

Dear J,
I had one of those nights last night where he was haunting me. There was a raging thunderstorm outside my window. After a while, I stopped cringing and started listening to the power in every bolt of lightening that made itself crash through the sky. Every nerve in my body was acting up. I swear I could feel every pulse in my brain. And the only thing I could think about was him. My latest haunting was peer induced as a mutual friend of ours was rambling on about him the other night in their drunken state. Then yesterday I chatted to a girlfriend about all my thoughts of him and how the thoughts have come together to create a monument of nothingness in my crania. It just rolls around in my head getting bigger and bigger 'til it is just an inflamed block of him-ness stuffed btwn the ears not allowing me to function until it evaporates and goes back to a size of a normal memory. I had a new epiphany though. It’s not that I want him to be with me but I want him to be and do well. Just because I’ve lost faith in us doesn’t mean I’ve lost faith in him. Then I wondered why I keep thinking back to him and sighed at the realization he will be the one I will always think back to when I’m old and reminiscing of my youth. And I found myself almost wishing that I’m the one he’ll think back to but the magic eight ball behind my eyelids said outlook unlikely. But hey, at least she’ll think of you.

Well, hope things are healing or progressing in a way your sanity can handle.

J

» Phoid_hearted on 2007-04-04 12:24:35

I push people away too. And i really don't know how to change it. I am glad you had a great time! PR looks so beautiful, I'd love to go some time.
» pyrogrrl12 on 2007-04-04 08:33:57

Try flipping through the tv channels and stumbling on this movie...and it's all in Japanese without any subtitles. I found it hilarious because they had cat buses.
» Ajibalaji89 on 2007-04-04 10:01:18

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